12 min · Not yet logged
Lesson 3 — The Wild and the Nice
The buried instinct
Estés' central image is the wolf: the instinctive self that knows something is wrong before reason can argue for it. It is buried by a long training in niceness — the habit of preferring another person's comfort to your own accurate perception.
Niceness is not kindness
Kindness gives from choice. Niceness gives from fear of consequence. The first builds relationships; the second builds resentment and calls it virtue.
Digging it up
The recovery is small and unglamorous: notice the flicker of 'no' before you override it, and once a day let it stand.
The Test
All questions must be correct for the lesson to log.
1. The 'wolf' in Estés' work represents:
2. The difference between kindness and niceness is:
3. The recommended recovery practice is: